Four-year-old Maeve and two-year-old Kay enjoy the new Butterfly monument with their mother Christie Elsey on Mother’s Day while remembering their lost sibling. Photo curtesy of Christie Elsey
By Maria Toews [1]
BELLEVILLE – The annual Butterfly Run has left the city of Belleville with a permanent monument to create awareness of pregnancy and infant loss and to take away the stigma surrounding it.
The Butterfly Run [2] was created in 2016 by Barb Matteucci, Beth Primeau and Loralee McInroy. While chatting over a cup of coffee, these three women started talking about the struggle of losing a child during pregnancy or early infancy.
“When I lost my daughter I was very isolated, alone, I didn’t know anybody else who had gone through that and I just wanted to talk to somebody who had,” said McInroy, one of the three founders.
All three of these women were runners and decided to raise awareness for pregnancy and infant loss through an annual run [3].
On top of the run, this year one of the ways they decided to generate more awareness was through creating a permanent monument for these bereaved families.
“It’s something that families can visit year-round when they feel that they want to do it as opposed to the date we picked to do the run,” said McInroy.
The monument was unveiled on May 1, the first day of the 2021 virtual Butterfly Run, and many families have gone by Zwick’s Park in Belleville to see the monument.
“I was speechless when I saw the Butterfly monument,” said Christie Elsey in an email exchange with QNet News. She experienced a pregnancy loss in spring of 2018.
“I was observing the monument with my two kids on Mother’s Day and I was just in awe of its beauty and everything it represents. For me, I sincerely felt that all three of my children were surrounding me at once; that is a feeling that has happened very very rarely since our baby passed away in 2018. It is such a tangible way for bereaved families in our community to have a space to honour and remember our babies.”
The monument was placed in Zwick’s Park for the 2021 virtual Butterfly Run which started on May 1 and went till May 16. Photo by Maria Toews
The Butterfly committee did not create a fundraiser goal for this year; instead, it focused on getting this monument done and placed in the community.
“Really at the end of the day it’s just having people come together and talk. So that was really more important for us this year (than to raise money),” said McInroy. “To just allow families to open up and talk about their loss and feel supported as opposed to always looking at the financial side of it.”
The committee hopes the monument will take away some of the stigma and silence around this topic and provide an open, safe space for discussions year-round.
“Navigating pregnancy and infant loss can be a very lonely and isolating time for many families in our local community,” said Elsey. “This monument is a beautiful way to spark a conversation and spread awareness about a deeply private and unfortunate circumstance that many families are forced to navigate everyday.”
On the monument’s plaque there is a quote from Winnie the Pooh which says, “If there ever comes a day when we can’t be together, keep me in your heart, I’ll stay there forever.” This statement captures the relationship between these bereaved families and their lost babies.
“I think that making this monument permanent and placing it in the park was an excellent decision,” said Elsey. “Having a space to forever honour and remember our babies, especially in a stunning waterfront area in our city, is absolutely perfect.”
The Butterfly committee hopes many people in the community can check out and enjoy the monument.
“I think the community will really enjoy having this monument in Zwick’s Park and I hope other cities will follow suit as the Butterfly Run girls have really led by example with their efforts on this breathtaking project,” said Elsey.